Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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