you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
