Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
