The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
