Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize