I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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