i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
