i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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