yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
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Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
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It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just puked most of my soul out..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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