It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize