I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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