I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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