I'm sorry my penis didn't work
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
