she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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