I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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