Will you blow on my dice?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What a dumb baby whore.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
