Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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