I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My liver just broke up with me...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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