We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
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we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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