He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
