I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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