I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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