You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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