It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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