so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We got so high we made milksteak
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
