had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Fuck me I smell like cheese
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
