I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
