idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
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I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
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This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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