his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
