fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
