: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
