Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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