I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
