okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
