I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
