Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
