I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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