I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
