ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
