you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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