I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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