I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That accounts for only three of the penises
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
