Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
