whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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