I just saw a hot homeless man
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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