I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
