Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There's always time for handjobs
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
