Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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