I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
