what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
