and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
