This is not my ceiling
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Houston, we have a blender
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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