Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
