Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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