I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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