We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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