More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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