I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
