she woke up with a sticky ear
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
