Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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