sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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